Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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