I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
