dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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