At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
