i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sorry my hands just texted you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
