You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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