The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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