if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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