Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
