it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think your dad took our porno
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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