Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
