Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize