Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
