you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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