mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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