hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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