never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
