if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize