forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize