Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
