i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
They have beer where we have blood.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
