Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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