i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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