I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
