I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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