Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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