You're my little dorito
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
