You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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