you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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