Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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