I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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