Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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