Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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