are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
