Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
