you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
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I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
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Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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