went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
