Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
COCAINE IS GR8
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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