He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i think i have herpe
just one?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Randomize
