if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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