pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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