is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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