Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
