The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
