Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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