we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
