im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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