8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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