whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
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