Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Non-Jews are for practice
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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