I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
