I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
