i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
