just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
