I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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