Operation Purity has been aborted
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
