i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
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We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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