I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
