Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
